Now that you’re here, let’s get started!
What is to follow are the proper instructions to reading the comical musings of a person who may be considered the laziest local comedian in a decade. If at any point in time you don’t feel comfortable reading the words on your screen, simply stop scrolling your eyes across the words forming a sentence, and close out the window. It is my job to inform you that because the writer lacks some of the major components in his life that hold a persons attention, what you’ll be reading is unlike nothing you’ve ever read before, but really it’s more like everything you’ve already read, because let’s be honest here, people are reinventing themselves everyday, because no one is capable of remaining an individual. That’s right, even those of you who go out of your way to be different from everyone else? You only manage to fall into the crowd of people who want to be a different kind of individual, and your group is getting bigger every day. Suck it.
Now that we’ve covered that, let’s go over the basics in the form of an FAQ!
Q. I see you called Bill Mercer a lazy local comedian in your introductory post, I’m curious; What makes Bill Mercer so darn lazy?
A. That’s a good question reader, and I will answer your question with an example! Bill Mercer had a comeback show to return to the Boston comedy scene on November 22nd, 2009. He has not done a show since.
Q. What are the major components that make up a persons attention that Bill Mercer lacks?
A. That’s a good question reader, and I will answer your question with a few brief explanations!
-Sex. Bill Mercers game is like vinegar. Strong, and terrible. While there may not be stories about his sexual conquests, there will certainly be stories about his awkward attempts!
-Drugs. Bill Mercer wouldn’t know drugs from kitchen spices. His ignorance becomes blatantly clear when he tries to contribute to a conversation in those circles. He is just as quickly discarded from said circles.
-Alcohol. There’s plenty of that!
Q. Will Bill Mercer update his blog regularly, or will this die out, leaving me to find another blog for time passing enjoyment?
A. That’s a good question reader, and I will answer your question with another question! Are you free Monday, Wednesday, and Friday? That’s right. Assigned update days.
Now that we’ve really tired out the FAQ formula, let’s get back to a normal writing format, and continue to use explanation points to keep people excited! Now we’ve covered the basics, let’s break everything down and finally figure out what you can hope to expect starting Monday, in the weak ass form of a list, because I, the writer, am clearly starting to get lazy with my choice to write this in the form of an informal introduction!
-Updates Mondays, Wednesdays, and fridays likely before 5pm. Likely.
-When I’m clean out of ideas and nothing is going down, story time.
-Story time.
-Show postings. (Not counted as an update.)
-Videos. My own will get a post of their own. Ones that amuse me will be tagged onto a post.
-Insight on life as far as I can tell, as a local comedian.
-Reader requests.
-If you’ve got questions, I’m likely to take your question and answer it publicly. If you’ve got stupid questions, I’m likely to post it without and answer. If your question is of the sexual manner, I’m likely to post your question, and a picture of you, so that I can rub it in to the naysayers.
Are you finished reading everything? Great! Now that both you and the writer are happy that’s all over with, you’re ready to get started! Unfortunately, the writer isn’t ready, so come back on Monday when he is!
“Mom! MOM! Come look! Someone commented on my blog that wasn’t you!”
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